Pillow

I roll in the darkness
Expecting to bump into your warm body at any moment
But instead I just find the edge of the bed
I run my finger along the sheets
Where your back should be
Up to the pillow
Where your head used to lie
I nestled my face into the puffiness
I can smell you there
Your cologne and the shampoo in your hair
I breathe as deeply as I can
Wanting to take in all of you
I nearly suffocate myself trying to recapture you
I can’t stop the tears that cascade from my eyes
I scream your name into this pillow abyss
Knowing you won’t hear me
Nobody can tonight
I scream until I can no longer make a sound
My eyes are dried up and itching
Like my eyelids are made out of sandpaper
I am exhausted on your side of the bed
My broken heart beating for only you in my chest
Your tear stained pillow under my head