Hollow

In my head I had contemplated a million different scenarios
Eloquent words that would tell you the truth
And somehow protect you from the pain
Today when you called I couldn’t remember
Any of the phrases I had practiced
Instead, I just blurted it out,
Scared if I didn’t throw it at you now,
I would never have the courage again
I figured I should just rip that band-aid off
Instead of pulling it slowly and causing more pain
The silence from you was unbearable
All I could hear was my heart beating in my ears
I couldn’t mutter a single word
As I waited for your reaction
It came slow and pained
You said you felt like you couldn’t breathe
I knew the feeling too well
Despite all we’ve been through
I’ve never wanted to hurt you
Never wanted you to know what it felt like
to be me and love you
and hurt so deep inside some days your chest feels hollow
but now I guess you do.