Captain K

It’s hard without you here. It’s hard to watch their tears. I’m wishing there was some way I could bring you back and make us whole again.

Everyone says the pain will subside but I know it will never leave. We are left with a hole in our hearts, a gapping canyon where your laughter and love should be.

It’s been nearly a month and I still cry every day. I cry because I miss you. I cry because I can’t make it better for all who mourn you. I cry because you didn’t stay. I cry because you can’t come back. I cry because we couldn’t save you.

I hurt because you have no idea how much we miss you. How you changed everyone’s lives with your smile. How drinking a glass of milk tastes better now. How she can’t sleep at night without thinking of you. How my nephew will never have the honor of holding your hand or wrestling on the floor with you. How Hawk games and wrestling and the 4th of July will never be the same. How October will feel a little colder this year.

I try harder now. To make every day the best it can be. To remember life is short. To tell the people I love how much they mean to me more often. To be more patient and understanding. To put things in perspective and not let the little stuff grow into more than it is. To make you proud. To make sure that whenever my time comes, I too can leave a legacy of love and laughter.