Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Hagebakke Thanksgiving

It’s Thanksgiving. I’m heading home to spend the holidays with the family but you won’t be there with us. You won’t be playing cards and eating too much food. Sprawling out on the couch and yelling at the football games. No watching you play with the kids, as if you were one of them that never grew up. Our very own Peter Pan. No, we won’t get to see you there this year…but we will feel you. In every conversation, hollow laugh and tear drop. We will know that you’re in the room, watching us. And even though it will be loud and crowded, it will never have felt so empty as it will this year without your smile. This is the holiday that we are supposed to be thankful. How can we give thanks for an autumn with so much pain and grief? How can we celebrate the year that we lost you? You should be here with us. We should be showering you with the love you didn’t want to believe was there, instead of sending our thoughts to heaven and hoping you catch them.

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