Stand strong

You can cut up your fucking victim card
We’re not running that special any longer
What you’ve done has nothing to do with his death
So stop whispering his name as if it will make me soft
And forgive what you have done to me
Out of love for him
And the friendship I thought we shared
There is no amount of excuses, sickness
Or addictions that can make this okay
One second, that’s all I wanted,
For you to be accountable
Just for once
Didn’t I deserve that from you?
Hadn’t I stood strong by your side
When the rest of the world had left?
And now I find myself as the one that is alone
Because I trusted those that I loved
And thought they were of the same loyalties as I
But we are nothing alike
I will not beg and cry and plead for pity
I will not flash my vulnerabilities for love
You may not be capable
But I, I will stand strong on my own.

Dark ice

Tainted and deserted
I cannot bare to walk past the threshold
Of forgiveness
Or our house
Which you have ruined
Turned to dark ice
This could never be home again.

I got this

I float
Swift and with grace
No longer hobbling along
I watch my shadow chase
Dreams that once seemed
So out of reach
Now the taste of them
Tickle my tongue
And I know they are mine
To devour
For I will not chain
Myself to doubt and fear
Again
I run towards endless possibilities
Instead of cowering in the corner
I got this
The world is mine

***
Some days it seems like my sole purpose in life is to be a shining example to other people that their lives could always be worse.

***
Proof that God has a wicked sense of humor.

Tumble

Wailing siren
Thumps in my ears
Alerting me
I must rise
I reach to your side
Of an empty bed
And tears escape
Through matted eyes
You are still gone
And the world expects me
To go on, one day at a time
As if I can function
Without you
My life, my love,
And all that makes me whole
A tower cannot stand in a storm
Without its foundation
And I tumble without you
To hold me.

Doomed

Fear
Strangles my heart
The judgment before us
Encroaching on love
Evil tentacles in a murky water
Dragging and pulling me under
Red blood mixes like a doomed cocktail
I grasp for you
Holding my breath
Knowing I will drown without you
The rock and my love
That gives me life.

Hiding

I reach and you crouch
Low in the dark
As my hands fumble for love
You sit silent as I suffer
I only seek simple words
That you cannot muster
Until my hand finds the knob
And the lock clicks undone
When the light of the outside
Starts to break across my face
I shield my eyes
And hear you finally whisper my name
And that you’ve been waiting
For me to find you
But I know
You’ve been hiding.